fieldnotes 1.5.17

Loneliest

‘…not me…’

Oh,
the clarity of cold —
this solidity of frozen ground —
blue-sky sun seen but barely felt.

Did I tell you how I played with the wind chimes?

Unturned pages,
regret
and regret.

Almost nothing is moving —
blood slow like sap.

We are here but hidden,
and still,
then briefly winging through the edge of the frozen bluegray
all along the wintergrass.

We find different depths —
how we know there are bluebirds in those oaks —
so neither is loneliest.



1.5.17

(13/3)

bluebird on a treetop by the south overlook. and this is the same spot where I saw my first bluebird. (note: first bluebird, nov. 8, 2011.) clouds like crystals, refract. nuthatch. redtail hawk. bearing the wind at the top of the hill, looking toward the oaks and beyond, to the marsh itself. winter is far more colorful than you realize til you’re in it. 2 mourning doves very close. too cold to flee, I suppose. how winter never seems entirely asleep. incipient energy. ink is freezing in my pen. brown creeper. chickadee. flock of bluebirds, by the singing trees. ice on the pond makes weird noises. like swallowing, but percussive, where the water bumps into the freeze. the wind. 3 black ducks. and mallards of course. about 15 each, male and female. one black-mallard hybrid. i will never have time for everything. is that resentment? are there ways to mitigate? or at least navigate? probably. bluejay.

Notes:
Quote: (not me): David Bowie / ‘The Loneliest Guy’ from Reality (2003)


about fieldnotes

fieldnotes was written at the Marsh beginning Sept. 26, 2016 and ending near the same time in the following year, collected in memo books over the course of many rambling walks.
Beginning on Sept. 26, 2019, three years after the writing, fieldnotes will be published in its entirety, with posts appearing as the corresponding write-dates occur.
(at least to the best of my ability)

Author: Emily

i'm busy trying to remember not to be busy

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